Kye here. Zoombag.ca owner.
I've been wanting to start journaling about my life experiences and learnings to help me reflect and keep growing into the best version of myself. I know myself so well, and I know it would be something I would forget to do, simply because I have a hard time putting my personal and mental health needs before others. There is definitely more motivation inside me to help others before myself. I then had an idea, If i journal on my blog, I will not only be serving me, but whoever may be reading. If i know sharing my experiences will help others in whatever way, I will be sure to do it. Not only sure, I will be excited to do it. So i have this new fire inside me to share about my life and I really hope it helps some of you on your journey in life. I am also a student of life and I would love to hear from you guys as well because I know you can help me too by staying connected and sharing in the comments below.
All that said I am very hesitant to take on this new project, because I will be writing about my very personal and close to heart experiences. If anything you read in my entries resonates with you, please drop a comment at the bottom! Knowing you guys are reading these and can relate will increase my drive to do them! I ultimately want Zoombag.ca to be a platform for me, my team and my visitors to come together and express their deepest and realest selves all in the name of helping each other live a better life while we are on this planet.
Anyway, thanks if you've made it this far.
Most of you probably know nothing about me. But heres a little bit about me for context of this journal entry. I'm in my early 30's. Im 4.5 years clean from alcohol and hard drugs. My life has changed immensely for the better over the past 4.5 years because of this. Im not going to get into those details of why and how I did this in this post, but my struggles with addiction is an important part of my life that brought me to use psychedelics as a medicine. I wouldn't have started this business if I never had addiction problems in the past. And i know some people wouldn't have found psilocybin mushrooms as a medicine if I didn't start this business. Weird and super cool how that works. Life is strange and crazy, in a good way. Its crazy how some of the best things in life can evolve from some of the lowest and darkest points. Blessings in disguise. I have had many of those. I feel like if I never had those problems my life would be much more mundane and meaningless. All my purpose and drive comes from a deep place inside myself, that was shaped by all that has happened throughout my life and i don't think I wouldn't change a thing.
The first 2 years of sobriety were really difficult. I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I was getting sober to please those closest to me as I was losing everyone in my life from my reckless behaviours. I remember the first time I actually wanted to stay sober for myself, it was about a year into my sobriety journey and it was 2 days after I microdosed some magic mushrooms. I have been on mushroom trips many times in the past but this time around i wanted to try microdosing. Microdosing, almost immediately had a profound effect on my mental state, mindset and perceptions of myself (and the world around me but thats for another story).
Whenever I started a microdosing regime, within the first two days I would start to treat myself with more respect. I treated others with more respect. I started eating better, I started going to the gym and the thought of drinking alcohol was kind of... appalling. When I was not microdosing I would crave a beer almost every night. I wouldn't care for myself as much. I would isolate and avoid people. I would perceive and assume things. I guess you could say i had a chip on my shoulder. When microdosing there was no perceiving and assuming, but instead there was noticing the little things in life that i should be grateful for. Microdosing literally changed my mindset, my perception of myself and it allowed me to see my potential, ultimately some how pushing my cravings away and out of my mind.
Of course, there is much more sciencey aspects to this, but this is how I felt it worked for me. It was very subtle changes though, not like a drug that kicks in and you notice it. I still felt the exact same but just in a better headspace while naturally thinking about the next right thing to do in my day, the next good thing that aligns with my values. My values that have been buried by the years of addiction. The changes were immense but subtle if that makes any sense. It was almost like positive motives were pulled from my subconscious that were buried from all my self abuse and those motives became part of my conscious self. Those powerful changes were easy to forget about when I stopped microdosing. Eventually I got on a regime for long enough that those positive changes became habitual and I was able to stop microdosing while carrying those new found habits and mindset over into my life without the help of mushrooms. Mushrooms helped me get over that first hump in sobriety. The first hump that 99% of addicts never get over. In that time of asking questions like "why am i doing this, is life really going to be better without alcohol?" Most people end up going back to the bottle... but mushrooms helped me see that life could be better. Mushrooms didn't show me life WILL be better sober, but they helped show me that there was potential to live a better life in sobriety. Magic mushrooms don't work for everyone, but I encourage anyone struggling with addiction to look into it and give it a go if you're feeling defeated.
I read somewhere once that using psychedelics as medicine is like allowing your conscious self to view your subconscious. From my experiences, that statement couldn't be more accurate, while microdosing and also while macrodosing (trip dose). But its not just the psychedelics helping you do this, I think its a team effort of yourself and the medicine. I think its important to have an intention when using these medicines, and diligently integrating what you've learned into your life. Without that intentional work on your part, it may just be another forgotten dream.